Memoirs of a Barman: Episode 4

This article is a bit like the next season in a television show. There are some returning characters, a new setting, and lots of things that are fresh. Episode 4 is the bridge to the new series, explaining the changes that took place that led me to my next pub, the Battle Pony, and my inevitable mistakes.

My days at the Purple Rabbit very quickly started to come to an end after new management came in, that was, in my view at least, not the friendliest. Granted, they have softened slightly now (4 years later) yet when they arrived, they seemed to upset everyone

Now, with every change in management, a few staff leave. However, rather than a trickle of resignations, the Purple Rabbit saw a tsunami. People that made the pub fun with their wild antics; making the newbie look for fish-legs or tartan paint, sambuca shots with regulars and occasional pub Olympics; they all disappeared. Instead, the pub changed.

Once I decided that the Purple Rabbit was no longer for me, my best-mate Pete, who had moved to a new pub months before, invited me to work at his new pub, the Battle Pony.

The Battle Pony was a completely different place to the Rabbit. The staff were all brilliant once again, the managers being a lovely young scouse couple. In fact, after leaving the Battle Pony, they’ve gone on to win numerous awards for being managers of the year (or something like that).

I also met the most Northern woman of all time, nicknamed the ‘Singles Fairy’ for her role in the Plenty of Fish nights that happened at the pub. She was less tinker-bell and more ‘sambuca-bell’, due to the fact she could always be found downing a pink sambuca at the end of every shift. She’s the same now, except she has me in the habit as well.

The Battle Pony had a different kind of clientele to the ones I was used to. There were some brilliant regulars that I am sure will appear in the series at some-point, however, I am going to focus on the more ‘interesting’ clients.

There was the resident alcoholic who seemed to believe that the pub was there to function as his own personal alcohol dispenser, and that he could choose who could and could not drink there. There was also the local ‘big spender’, who always thought he could jump the queue because of his self-importance. I used to label him customer number 8 and wait until I had served 7 people before I got to him.

There was a very regular occasion every Saturday where the chefs, waddling due to chef’s arse (don’t google it) came out and stood looking threatening to make sure it didn’t kick off.

Today’s instalment was a little longer than usual, but I feel it was important to set the scene for the next stage of the memoirs. A stage that features scandal, love, heartbreak and all that other crap that you find in Netflix’s latest hit.

Jamie Wade

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