What Christmas Type Best Describes You?

The holiday season is fast approaching and as we all know, Christmas can change a person.

Some of us become delirious children again huddled around the tree, while others are in full Grinch mode sipping on that more-than-normal laced Eggnog.

But we want to know, which of the five Christmas spirits are you?

The Mariah Carey
The Mariah Carey lives for Christmas. As soon as the clock strikes 00:00 on December 1st, the Santa hat is placed on their head and they belt out ‘All I Want for Christmas is You’ 78 times until their voice is hoarse.

They definitely will be going to the Xmas staff do and will be drinking mulled wine by the bucketful. These guys live for the festive time of year, having an Xmas countdown calendar app installed on their phone to countdown in minutes and microseconds.

The Scrooge
The Scrooge is the opposite of the Mariah. They believe Christmas decorations should not be up before the 24th of December and that Christmas music is like a punch to the face and an affront to the ears.

They don’t appreciate the ‘magical atmosphere’ that the Mariah’s believe in, instead choosing to focus on the cold and miserable December weather. These guys couldn’t care less if you got the present of your dreams from your other half, they’re more interested in watching the inevitable breakups after the festive period ends.

The Drunk Elf
The Drunk Elf is only focused on drinking as much Mulled Wine, Bucks Fizz and Eggnog not only on Christmas morning but every December morn. Christmas is their excuse to be pissed every day, screaming in their best Noddy Holder voice ‘It’s Christmaaaaaas’ whenever their concerned friends ask why they are slurring their words at 11am on a Monday morning.

They’re the life and soul of the Christmas party; usually, because all of their inhibitions have disappeared thanks to the 15 Jagerbombs they’ve downed in honour of the Big Man with a sleigh.

The Love Actually
These guys are the hopeless romantics of the festive period, desperate to create heartfelt romantic gestures at every possible moment, usually in a homage to their favourite Christmas romance film. Whether it be confessing their love to their intended flame through cardboard cutouts, running through an airport and it’s security to catch your ‘one true love’ before they board that plane to far away, or spending forever waiting for a gift to be wrapped by Rowan Atkinson, the Love Actuallyers are all for the romance. The most dangerous of these guys are the singles, who are desperate to experience the romance during the ‘most wonderful time of the year’ as they will be out on the prowl, looking to find some Christmas magic in the town.

The Stuffed Turkey
The Stuffed Turkey’s are like the Drunk Elves, except instead of alcohol, it’s food. They live for the mince pies and After-Eights that appear on every coffee table at any house you visit. Acting shocked every time they are offered one of the festive treats, when in fact it was their grand scheme all along to ingest as many as possible.

You’ll find them to be the first at the Xmas Buffet table, having sussed out the best and worst of the grub available. They’ll be the first to dip into the office Xmas chocolates, picking the best ones out and claiming that they’d only had one. Always very jolly like the white-bearded man himself, they love Christmas, though more for the food than the festive feel.

Jamie Wade

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