Houses Of Parliament Test Positive For Cocaine

An investigation by VICE has revealed that several parts of Westminister Abbey have tested positive for cocaine.

The investigation involved taking samples from different surfaces in the Houses of Parliament and testing them for the Class A substance.

Nine separate tests were used and four turned up positive for cocaine. Unsurprisingly, three of the four locations that tested positive were in public bathrooms.

Now OBVIOUSLY, we have no idea who has and has not used controlled substances in possibly the most important building in the UK; but, we DO know that Michael Gove admitted to taking cocaine while working as a journalist.

A Parliamentary spokesperson said, “Parliament takes the issue of substance misuse very seriously and offers a range of welfare and health support services for those who need them.

“Parliament is a public place and we welcome over a million visitors a year who have access to the facilities. Should drug use be identified in Parliament, appropriate action would be taken.”

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